surprising myself: an update on new habits
I am learning a few things as I try to shape new habits around eating.
There are always dishes. I use an inordinate amount of measuring cups. And sometimes, I surprise myself.
This morning I did not eat a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit for breakfast. Instead, I had Kashi Warm Cinnamon oats cereal with Skim milk and a slice of rye/pumpernickel swirl toast with peanut butter. I'm obsessed with this bread and it makes the best sandwiches. I made tea for the day since it's been over a month since I drank soda.
Around 11, I drank a Boost protein shake before I went to the gym. I worked out for 25 minutes, some crazy steep incline on the treadmill today, burning almost all the calories in the Boost.
This is my new routine. Only, some days it begins with a rice cake and peanut butter and the gym at 5:45 a.m.
I crave goat cheese and berries instead of Skittles and Sour Patch Kids. I still crave potatoes and pasta, though I'm careful when I do find them on plate. I think about what I will feel like an hour later. I try to think about what my body needs, really needs before I eat.
These routines, these new habits take practice. I am relearning how to think about food, and nourishment.
I have a vision of myself running the treadmill instead of walking it, taking the stairs easily, of seeing myself in pictures and liking what is reflected.
I have to retrain the way I think about my physical self. Learn that it wants to move, stretch, be challenged as much as my mind does.
I am about to leave for a week long endeavor, scoring AP exams in Louisville. This will be out of the structured routine I've given myself the past month. (The working out, not even a full week). I am worried. I am worried that it will be hard to make good food choices, that the danish will suddenly be more appealing than the banana, that my willpower, my new habits will break. I have difficulty trusting myself. But I am determined to perservere because there's a little voice inside my head that is encouraging me, telling me how strong and powerful and amazing I am. How I need to pay attention to my body and soul, not just one or the other.
I am trying to listen to it.