As you know, I'm in Louisville scoring AP exams and I'm scoring essays which respond to a prompt about the relationship of doubt and certainty and while there are times I feel like I'm losing my mind reading some of the responses, I also think it's interesting that given my year that I'd be reading essays on these topics.
Here's the thing: I would answer this question very differently now than I would have a year or two ago, and certainly differently in high school. I think my response(s) would be vastly different from the ones I am reading, though definitely been along the lines of "there's no such thing as certainty".
I also think I would have tried to redefine or reframe the terms (some of the best essays seem to do that).
And I've been thinking a lot about the progression of my confidence, the ways in which those "things I know for sure" balance and ground me when I'm at my most insecure. In some ways those things I know keep evolving, which for me, is really the only sure thing: that nothing is. For almost everyone I know right now, this has been a challenging year. And yet, we move and keep at it and try to figure out the mess together.
What I am sure of is that I am lucky. And also these things:
I am sure that love wins. That the light outshines the darkness. That we find a way to grow in the harshest of conditions.
I am sure that encouragement, support, kindness continues to inspire me.
My body needs to move and stretch and be challenged just like my mind.
I crave the quiet. The sound of keys on the keyboard, the dailyness of life going on around me but no distracting noise of television, and instead the hum of life as it moves throughout my space.
Music is the key to a good workout.
Avacados are magical. I am sure of it.
I am sure that I know less about the future every single day.
This space, after all this time, is still incredibly important to me and I ache when I am away too long.
I am sure I can write a novel. And that it could be good.
My handwriting is terrible but I can type almost 60 words a minute.
Fireflies still thrill me.
I am sure that I am loved.
I am sure that that is the most important thing. Besides the fireflies and the magical avacados and music.