reverb10: letting go has made all the difference

December 5 – Let Go.

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

(Author: Alice Bradley)

As I wrote in my first reverb post , 2010 was about appreciating this point in my life, reconciling all of the tensions between where I’ve been and where I am now, not just geographically but also emotionally, soulfully. I let go of the guilt and the weight of decisions in my girlhood, forgiving my mistakes. Instead of separating my life into pieces or time frames, with all these various versions of myself, I realized that to really move on, to really say I embrace my complexities, means to honor all the girls I've been and accept that they're all part of who I am. To truly be in the moment, as I've tried to live this year means I can't be in the past.

I let go by writing, working through what I was actually holding on to when I was torturing myself or beating myself up about mistakes I'd made. I wrote a letter to my 20-year-old self and a letter to an even younger me where I finally let go and forgave myself.

I have said before that I take the long way around and it's true. I drive M crazy by not doing the most logical or easiest thing. I go my own way and I took my own time in letting go. I won't beat myself up for not doing it sooner. That's another thing I'm trying to let go of: emotional self-torture.

Ultimately, for me, all of the appreciation of 2010, the focus on the moment, the embracing of who I am now, meant a whole lot of letting go. And it has made all the difference.

Reverb 10 is an annual event and online initiative to reflect on your year and manifest what’s next. Use the end of your year as an opportunity to reflect on what's happened, and to send out reverberations for the year ahead.