reverb10: in the moment

December 3 – Moment.

Pick one moment during which you felt most alive this year. Describe it in vivid detail (texture, smells, voices, noises, colors).

(Author: Ali Edwards)

In a year of moments where I made a conscious effort to pay attention to the world around me and create moments for myself, two moments stick out.

The first is a night in early January when M and I went to Bacaro, a local restaurant which neither of us had been to. M decided she’d let our neighbors' do her makeup and hair while I got ready. M doesn’t wear makeup a lot because she has sensitive skin and it takes too much time and effort in her opinion. But occasionally, she will wear makeup and when she does I kinda feel like I did when we first met, all butterflies and clumsiness. So, we were dressed for a night out (don’t get excited; we both wore jeans) and it reminded me of how nice it is to put in the effort.

We decided to be adventurous and try the tasting menu and we still talk about the food we had that night. The reason this moment sticks out isn't just about the food but more about the whole night, the butterflies I felt while we got ready separately, the familiar comfort of our conversation, the fun of sharing something new. I remember looking out the window at people walking by, at the reflections of the lights from the bar across the street and feeling happy and loved and very much aware of how lucky I am.

The second moment that sticks out is driving back from Alabama this summer. I'd been gone for weeks and after catching up with my family and my oldest friend and falling in love with summer all over again, I was ready to go home. I took a completely different route than I normally do as I was following the GPS and perhaps because I was somewhere unfamiliar I was able to appreciate the journey of traveling between the place I grew up and the place I now called home. The sun was shining; the sky had never been more blue. I felt like I was driving toward something, finally reconciling the girl I was with the woman I am now. It was a revealing moment that shifted my feelings where I no longer feel conflicted aboutliving in between two places but rather accept them both as part of my landscape.