reverb10: more than "okay"

December 24 Prompt – Everything’s OK

What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead? (Author: Kate Inglis)

If you haven't figured it out by now, I'm something of a rebel. I interpret things I read and hear the way that they make the most sense to me. I color outside of the lines. I don't always match my socks or other colors, for that matter. Right now, I'm wearing 3 different shades of pink. According to my mother, I've always been this way: stubborn and steadfast and absolutely doing the opposite thing everyone else is doing or wants me to do. The fastest way to get me to do something is probably to insist I am unable to accomplish it. But underneath all of my resistance to authority and the rules and what society expects of me, I have usually been confident that I'll come out the other side not unscathed, necessarily, but alright. I know this because all of the people in my life support me and look out for me.

I worry about all kinds of stuff when I am in the heat of my neuroses and breakdowns. When I stop and get to a quiet space, however, I know; I feel in my gut that things will work out. It won't always be easy and smooth and it may not work out the way I want or expect but I will be okay because people who love me will make sure of it.

I don't know if there is a moment that makes this tangible. It's just something I carry with me. Every time my mother or grandmother give me advice or say "I Love You," I feel it. Every time M reassures me that as long as we're together we can face anything, I try repeating it to myself.

In 2011, however, I want to take that knowledge and let it free me to take risks. To say yes to opportunities that make me afraid or insecure. 2011 is about stepping into a light and being seen and though I don't know exactly what that means yet or how it will take shape, I know that whatever comes I can handle.