on being surprised

People are surprising. You can never be sure about what they will say or do or how they will act in any one situation. At this point in my graduate school career I am leaning/depending on people in a way that makes me feel vulnerable. I don't accomplish things alone and I'm aware of that and okay with that but it's hard for me to trust people to say write recommendations for me, especially people I've challenged and maybe not made completely nice with all the time. Part of my new outlook is attempting to look at how I create responses to my energy and approaches to things. Sometimes people say things about you that make you reconsider yourself. And sometimes realizations come from where you least expect it.

It's good to know that people, especially academics in my department can still surprise me, in good ways.