things you teach your mother

I've had a difficult time getting my mother to validate my relationship with M. She never says anything specifically; it's been in her actions. But recently, after we had a discussion at Christmas, she's been making more of an effort. She and Dad came up here as a gesture to meet us on our terms, in our home together. I think it went well, considering how standoffish she usually is/seems toward Michelle. I know that she isn't ever going to be as accepting as M's mom and I have to understand that. She is at least trying.

As I am watching the Bravo show "Workout" and see how Jackie's mother treats her and obviously and outwardly objects to her being gay, I am grateful that I have never, ever been made to feel as belittled as Jackie feels, at least not by family members.

When I called my mother after M had been gone for a few days she asked, "Do you miss Michelle; are you lonely?" I said, "A little." Then she shocked me by saying, "I always miss your father when we're apart. I don't know how I survived that year before we married."

All I ever wanted was my mother to recognize that my relationship to M was as significant as my mother's relationship to my father. And at least now I feel a bit closer to that than before. She may not understand my relationship but she does see its importance to me.