firsts

Yesterday reminded me why I love teaching. Yeah, I was bitching about classes starting mostly because I felt selfish; I wanted more time, mostly to put off comps. Getting in the classroom again thrilled me. I forgot how much I love hearing what students have to say. Because of some things that have happened lately, I became acutely aware of the language in my syllabus. I am aware of the power dynamic now moreso than I ever have been before. I told the students that I believe teachers should never ask students to do something they themselves would not do and that I would be doing all of the in class writing that I ask them to do. I will be doing all of the reading I ask of them. And if I can, I will do all of the assignments I ask them to do. I stressed I wanted them to see me as part of the class. I tried very hard to let them know I was aware of the power dynamic in the classroom and that I was attempting to deconstruct some of that power. I know it won't ever completely disappear; it's ideological; it's inscribed. But because of this incident that happened, I've realized that I never want anyone to experience the kind of rhetorical violence that I have. And this means I want to be as ethical as possible in the classroom.

I also realized how much I've grown within a year as a teacher. Framing the course the way I have will impact the way all of us relate to one another as a class and the way students will relate to me as a teacher. I've been teaching writing courses for four years now. I feel as if I'm just now understanding how to carry myself in the classroom. Who am I kidding; I'm just learning how to carry myself in life.