in between

I'm more than worried about M travelling through London. Not because I think anything will happen to her but because she is stressed about all of the extra security and about whether her flight will be cancelled, late etc. The process of returning to the country, the coming home is stressful enough. Not being able to do anything, to just hope and believe it's going to be okay feels hollow.

I am surprised at how different everything feels without M here. Things are not as happy or poignant without her. Everything has lost its shine. And yet, I have kept busy and been sort of productive. It's strange. I feel in-between.