seeing life in a blur

I met with the Grad Director today and declared my intent to take my comps this summer. Just typing that sentence makes me nervous. The conversation went well and I left feeling like maybe, just maybe what I'm researching, studying, interested in, makes sense after all. I went to my office to work on rough draft ideas to show my advisor where my thoughts are concerning comps and I think I'm on to a few things with my Pedagogy Synthesis. We'll see. Overall, I'm feeling good about the decision to take the exams this summer. I don't know how waiting would help me any.

When I started this program I met some people in the program who were preparing for comps. I was in awe. I felt so far from that point, that frame of mind. It's not something I thought about very much in the early part of my program and as fellow grad students finished and moved on to jobs in other places, I applauded them and saw their position as somewhere I wanted to be. One day.

All of a sudden, I'm preparing for comps. For the new students who enter in the Fall, I'll be in the position I once admired of fellow colleagues. It's a strange, strange place to be.