actually it does

I'm no good at keeping my mouth shut though I've tried. I really tried because sometimes, what's the point in arguing when you know that you're not going to change anyone's mind. But still, I feel the need to say some things.

I have struggled a great deal with feminism(s), with feminist theory, trying to strike a balance, find my place. It isn't easy when I disagree and/or don't always see applications to my own work. However, I do think the work feminist scholars, especially in the academy which is at best a boy's club and at worst incredibly and purposefully oppressive.

What I am beginning to understand is that some people who say they are feminists have another agenda altogether.

When I took Feminist Literary Theory there were 2 guys in my class. Both made the class more interesting I think than it would have been otherwise. They added to the discussion and often suggested approaches to the texts that I would have never considered otherwise. Neither of them felt threatened rather they both understood their privilege as white males. It is a privilege to be male and white. It doesn't matter what your sexuality is. You don't get a free pass just because you're gay. You're still male and white, which is read first and foremost. I would say you're read male first and then white but I'm not sure it matters. I guess my point is that to study feminism or be a feminist scholar and be male, you have to understand it comes with the territory.

I was really interested at one time in ideas/portrayals of urban masculinities. But I realized I'm a white girl what the fuck can I say about that. True I could do multiple analyses using theories, fairly sophisticated ones, but at the end of the day I'd still be a white girl. In order to do that kind of study or work, I have to compensate for my privilege. To just walk around like it doesn't exist or to shrug it off because I'm a woman, or because I'm a lesbian would be irresponsible and a bit deluded.

Someone recently said to about all of this: JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A PENIS DOES NOT MAKE ME THE ENEMY.

I desperately want to write back and say, "Actually it does." which is why I began this response but now I'm too exhausted to be any more articulate than this. Instead I replied, "It doesn't make you an enemy but it does give you privilege. When you're "read" as male there are certain priveleges the world affords you, priveleges you have to overcome when you're going to do intellectual work in feminism. Just because I'm not racist doesn't mean my whiteness doesn't represent all of the years of oppression and racism; it doesn't mean that I don't represent the institution. You can't just shrug off your gender even if you don't want to identify yourself in those terms, the world does."