someone like you

I know someone like you

Last night M and I went to Vicki (her boss at Payless) and Jeremiah's wedding party celebration thing. It was a party, not a reception, at the VFW in Champaign. A lot of M's softball teammates were there and some Payless folks but other than that we didn't know anyone. So we sat at a table with some of the Payless folks and a very drunk man and his wife, who we found out later was one of Vicki's best friends. She was quite embarassed at how drunk husband Rob or Bob was. Well, at some point he figured out or assumed or asked someone that we were a couple. And the questions began. Now it takes a lot to offend me. Personally, I'm not bothered by questions. I'd rather someone ask me than continue to make assumptions about my lifestyle. I tried to stress that M and I weren't necessarily respresentative of the lesbian population by any means. I think each relationship is different because of the dynamic between two people, no matter what your sexual orientation is. But Rob/Bob was drunk and there was really no need to try and discuss anything that made sense at all with him. He kept asking about M's tongue ring. Whether I liked it or preferred it, whatever. My answer was that yes, I like it but that we've been together almost 2 years, I don't really remember what it's like without it. I meant kissing; he thought of other things. A woman at the table asked if we were offended by Rob/Bob's questions. She didn't think it was right for us to be put on the spot like that because she has cousins "like us." She said, "I guess I'm sensitive because I have cousins like you. I am openminded." It reminded me of the "I am not racist, I have a black friend" thing I used to hear. It's like when someone finds out you're gay, they have to relate to you somehow through the other gay people they know.

It was quite a strange night.