and the walls, come tumbling, tumbling down

Recently Will posted about PostSecret and one secret/postcard in particular. His reflection on the postcard made me think.

I’ve lived most of my life putting up defenses of one kind or another mostly to shield myself from hurting only to realize the disservice I’ve done myself. I can’t expect others to break down walls that they don’t understand or realize why they exist. That’s my own work. And it's a lot of work. I'm so used to the walls, I often don't realize they're there.

I like the lines from Finding Nemo .

Marlin: I promised I'd never let anything happen to him.
Dory: Hmm. That's a funny thing to promise.
Marlin: What?
Dory: Well you can't never let anything happen to him. Then nothing would ever happen to him. Not much fun for little Harpo.

Sometimes the walls, leave out the good stuff. I fell in love two years ago and it’s been the easiest and hardest thing I’ve ever done. It’s easy to love her, accepting that she loves me is another thing alltogether. But what I realized is that if I didn’t start to break myself, I would miss out on giving her the kind of relationship she deserves.

I think sooner or later the stakes become high enough or one becomes insightful enough to realize that some walls hurt you in the attempt to protect you. It takes a lot of courage to change especially when it means letting people inside those walls.

I’m still working on this, myself but the realization, that moment of understanding changed everything.