growing up

The past few days have been incredibly busy. Yesterday M and I stood/sat in line at Wal Mart for 13 hours awaiting the midnight release of the Nintendo Wii. We were 4th in line, luckily because while there were 20 consoles available and 19 Zelda Games, there were only 6 additional controllers available and considering we want to play 2 player games we needed the extra wiimote. That's right wiimote (wemote like remote for the wii).

Today we left Champaign in the snow for Birmingham to visit my brother and family who is coming up for Thanksgiving.
The drive to Birmingham isn't horrible. Nashville was such a piece of cake that I was startled to have moved through it so quickly. I guess hitting it around 6 pm (their time) on a Sunday is perfect. I am tired, though. I didn't get much sleep last night and am actually really exhausted from the stress of school and relationship that I feel completely drained.

I'm learning alot about myself that I'm not sure I completely like. I have a tendency to not listen to what people say. I mean, really listen and take it in. Some people I know are amazing listeners. You might casually mention that you really like Andes mints, for example. And the next week you find Andes mints on your desk or in your mailbox. This kind of thoughtfulness is the kind I have not acquired. Not sure I've acquired much thoughtfulness at all. It seems that I decide, without completely listening, what it is one is going to say to me. This makes communication very difficult. I want too much on my terms without actually hearing if some other terms might be better, more useful, helpful, easier for the situation at hand. Instead I make rash decisions, get frustrated and misunderstand one's intentions.

I'm making a resolution to be more aware of what other's say. To take more time to respond, especially in particularly heated situations. I have to do something to show people I care about that I actually DO care what they have to say. This whole growing up and acknowledging your faults thing, kinda sucks. Speaking of grown up:

My brother lives in an officially grown up neighborhood, has grown up furniture and a grown up job. It's completely nuts how nice his house is, how comfortable and homey it is. I can tell he's having trouble growing into and getting used to it. There's just so much space.

Space, the one thing I truly lack right now. I want some room away from myself for a while. I'm exhausting. How M or my friends put up with me is beyond my understanding.

I'll try to take pics of Matt's house in the daylight tomorrow.
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