it's in the water, baby

I had a panic attack this morning. I was hyperventilating. I've never felt so stricken. I rewrote my pedagogy synthesis this week. I missed the genre mark a bit in my previous draft. I've started to worry that I screwed up my specialization synthesis and that I won't be able to get my English Studies one "right." These are all the things I tell my students kills their process. And that's why, on my mother's birthday, I began to lose it.

Today was weird. Just weird. It was like I was stuck in slow motion in an alternate universe where things are upside down and my mouth and brain do not work right. There are things going on in other classes that I can barely process. How things get so turned around, I never understand.

I'm distracted. I have to find the library books now so overdue I have lost book fines I can't pay that are blocking my registration. I am a bad librarian's daughter. I found four of the books in my car, which is good.