side of guilt, anyone?

This afternoon M and I were leaving the library. It was around 5 and we saw a bunch of people on campus rushing/running toward the church near the library. M said, "Oh, they must have missed morning mass." I joked, "They probably had hangovers."
We laughed. But inside I was a bit jealous that they could be absolved/ absolve themselves so easily.

While transferring some of my CDS to my IPod, I noticed notes from an ex and wondered why I still had them and then felt guilty reading them.

Why have I internalized guilt so much? Surely, I can't blame it all on being the daughter of a minister, growing up surrounded by religous ideology. It's not that simple, is it?

You should see the poems I've written about the search for Redemption. The poems I haven't written on the subject could fill volumes.